Swollen eyes

I'll tell you it's not fun to be hit with the tennis ball, travelling nearly at the speed of light, right on your eyes. It hurts. It really does. I knew what pain is, after quite few months. I was hit right on my right eyes. Why does everyone target my right eye? I got pencil poked in my right eye when I was in kindergarden and I still feel its effect since I am sure I am going to fail the eye test for driver's license. And now this shot just adds agony to the injury. Seven hours after being hit, I can still feel the pain and burning sensation in my eyes. And now I think, are my nerves really doing a good job? I mean, nerves are there to let your brain know what's going on and to protect you from any danger. I probably might have closed my eyes in a reflex, otherwise I would be in the hospital with only one eye and not typing this. So, nerves did a good job. My heartfelt thanks to them. But now that my brain knows that my eyes are swollen and that I was hit when I was not looking and was not ready, why doesn't it stop firing action potentials? Human body with all its intricacies and amazingly unbelievable coordinated system never fails to amuse me and I don't see any way how it could have been better but when it comes to this department of pain and sensations, I think it could have done a better job. They should stop firing action potentials and stop sending any signals for pain. What good does it do? This is one field that neurologists should work in the future. Alrite, I'm off to sleep. Writing this at 2:15 am with one swollen eye, that I have to struggle to even keep open, is not fun.

pysched with marijuana's properties

Wait a minute. Don't get carried with the title.

I have a habit of seeking attention through such misleading titles. It seems I would make a fortune as a journalist. I learnt this trait of seeking attention through 'venerable' slave master Facebook. They have ingeniuos minds behind it. With statuses, comments and such ingenious innovations, it has made me an attention seeker. I had put down this statement as my status when I still used Facebook. See, statements, updates and comments every day, every hour. The hour hand never moved a single notch without me paying a homage to venerable deity, Facebook. Why am I so critical of Facebook? Because along with helping me know what's going on with peoples' lives, it is making me someone that I am not, and do not want to be. Anyway, peace with facebook for now.

I have this appetite for knowledge currently. I want to expand. Expand out of proportion, I don't care. Not physically please. I want to expand mentally, spiritually, intellectually, physiologically, pyschologically and all other 'allys'. Currently, I am pysched with this knowledge about marijuana. Red Alerts for CIA, FDA, FBI and whatever, I don't know others. I am not saying I am consuming it or have a desire to do so. Some cravings can be costly and could cost you your F-1 visa. I have this craving for more knowledge about marijuana though. There is a difference between a drug researcher and drug user even though both have an interest in the same physical substance. If I had a choice, I would become a pyschedelic drug researcher. I always want to do things that people, especially the society forbids me to. I want to read about drugs, communism,  Sigmund Freud and what not. I may not follow or like them, but I want to have a perspective. I want to imagine four dimensions. I thought Tao of Physics had taken me pretty close to acheiving that state of 'bliss' for me. I want to imagine four dimension so that I can build time travel machine. It would not be easy to disprove Einstein though. Even though I want to imagine four dimensions, I want to live in several dimensions. It's like when I look at some object, I want to look at it through a scientist's perspective namely a physicist, a chemist, a biologist, through a political analyst, an economist, a philosopher (one of my favorites), a spiritualist, a religious expert, a psychologist, an anthropologist, a sociologist and everything. I want to have as many perpectives as an ordinary peice of diamond has. I want to shine like a diamond.

My obsession with quest for knowledge such as marijuana may not make me shine as a diamond, but I would be happy pursuing such a dream. I don't have a  dream. I have dreams. Several. Many that would never materialize in my life, nonetheless, I imagine and use this human's exclusive gift of imagination to the fullest

Mathematics and Sex

Didn't it catch you? The title is so attention-catching. It caught me too. And I started reading the book online actually because Trinity's Library doesn't have it in the hard copy format. I read two chapters and it indeed is amusing, something different than what I have read. It is funny and yet so appropriate. It describes about a story of love between Romeo and Juliet, and modifies it a bit and introduces differential equations with constants and variables and shows how more Romeo loves Juliet, the more she wants to get away (this is modified version, remember) and the more he gets away or less he pursues, the more Juliet comes towards him. It desribes about the graph functions and shows how their individual crest meets every quarter of a cycle, meaning that their positive feelings about each other concur at every 1/4 th time. I was fascinated by the descriptions and it would amuse any person with a decent interest in beauty of mathematics.

There is much more to the book and it describes about the number of sexual partners, how many times one has sex, sperm count and other various processes and shows how mathematics is in everything, we only need a keen eye to realize this.

Facebook Slavery

Are you a facebook slave? If you are in the U.S. and you are a high school or college student then, there is more than 90% chance that you are a facebook slave. I too was.

When was it that I deactivated my facebook account? I should have remembered that day. It was a historic day for me. I will be celebrating that day as the Technological Emancipation Day. Not quite.  The internet still enslaves me. I got rid of my cellphone when I moved to the US and got rid of cellular slavery. I'm glad I didn't succumb to my friends' pressure to join them for a family plan. I want to be closer to nature. Technology is for me, I am not for technology. I got rid of cellphones, facebook and now I want to slowly get rid of this internet. Well, I find it so useful that on some days, I spend more time with Google than any human, or maybe humans combined. And so, at one point I had claimed that I had fallen in love with Google, for right reasons. She is so helpful, resourceful and helps me out whenever I am in trouble and need her help. She never says No. And, she's FREE. I don't have to take her on a date or any formal event, I just can enjoy being with her. And she never demands anything. She's not possessive either. She helps me as much as she helps anyone who seeks help from her. And, she gets better everyday, more beautiful with every sunrise (anti-aging like Benjamin Button and) unlike others out there. So, I have hundreds of reasons to be amused and enchanted by her.

But she too had made me a slave. For practically everything, I used to seek her help. Not that she minds or gets annoyed, but I was losing my creativity even though my knowledge was increasing. I was becoming like machines and living in a virtual world where love means reciprocation of digital textures, produced by cathode ray osscilloscopes.

I am so glad that I got rid of the facebook and said NO to the life in virtual world and was brave enough to start living a real world and meeting real 3Dpeople, who have real flesh and skin, unlike 2D pictures in the facebook world. Living in the real world is definitely harder and has much more challenges but this pays eventually. I exited the matrix and came to live in a real world even though I was more powerful and safe in the matrix world. I don't know if I ever can get rid of the internet, or I would ever want to, but I want to be more closer to nature and lesser to manmade environment or objects.

Free Writing

This post is about free-writing, the art of writing freely, flowing with the thoughts of your mind and not stopping to think or neither going back to correct some errors. Our WW professor and other writers think this is a great way to improve writing. Some fundamentalists argue that this is the only way to improve writing. 10 minutes of free-writing a day can improve your writing just in the same way an apple a day is believed to keep doctors away ;)

My Calculus III class

I wish I had retained my enthusiasm for Maths which would in turn would have retained my natural aptitude (an euphemism for my natural talent) in Maths. I realize now how Maths would come naturally to me when I was in secondary and high school. I know this because now it does not. But that's not the point I want to discuss here.

I want to discuss about a guy in my Calculus III class. He seems to be genuinely interested in Mathematics but that has turned out to be his curse, in my view. I tell this because everyone thinks he is an ass. Not literally though. He asks pretty intelligent questions and his queries seem to be genuine and often surprises us by how much he knows when the professor and he has an argument, that makes no sense to us and then the professor agrees that what he's saying is absolutely right. I respect his genuine interest because in school, I too had a geuine interest in Maths but feel that he interrupts the class more often than he should be. Afterall, what are office hours for?

I am not someone who enjoys back-biting (I am doing it right now) but what I am trying to point out here is to ponder what goes on in his mind. Does he know that everyone thinks he is an ass for asking too many intelligent questions and not letting the teaching forward. Does he know that the professor struggles with his bullets of questions, and often a missile or two when he is genuinely trying to teach the whole class? Does he realize that he is interfering too much? Or he is one of us who do things our own way, write our blogs our own way and do not care if CIA or FBI is after us for being different, and failing to be one of humanic robots. I saw him today during dinner today and he was alone, seemed to be contemplating or lost in mental computations or maybe thinking about a missile or two to direct at our beloved maths professor in the next class. I always want to know what's going on others' mind. It's not only Obama's mind during taking the Oath of Office that interests me, even a beggar's mind while begging amuses me. What would that beggar be thinking. How does he judge people? Can he see really mean people through their impeccable suit and tie?

I ought to have taken pyschology since it's so interesting. See, I want to end this blog here but feel that it is such an abrupt ending, but what do I care? This is my blog.

The level of weirdness

 I simply love the word 'weird' and my love for it was renewed after reading a journal of one of my friends. Even though I was really weird and weird thoughts hit the shores of my brain more often than did 'rational' thoughts, I always suppressed them. Now, I think there is no reason to do so. Gays have started asking for their rights and have received in many places actually and have made it clear that they are different, but they still are humans, one among us.

I am weird and have a rational mind too, which does not help me when I need it and I want it to be known. What if I am weird or claim to? I am different yet I am a human, and one among you. I will no more suppress my unorthodox thoughts about quatum consciouness through marijuana and other psychedelics, conspiracy of unnatural things against us and so on even though I can not promise that I can put down all my weirdness to paper so that you can actually see how weird I am, instead of claiming to be so, without giving any evidence

Dinner Plates

Have you wondered why dinner plates are so heavy?

Today while I was reading about 'iron rice bowl' in China during Communist regime of Mao, it clicked on me why dinner plates are so heavy. You may not agree with me. But, the problem with me, if I have figured out correctly that is, is that I think there is a conspiracy in everything except nature. If I see a television set then I think governments encouraged scientists to make television so that we would sit down in front of it with a packet of pop-corn or potato chips (I am stereotyping it) whole day and stop thinking about what's going on or what should be done. By doing so, government would ensure that it would not face oppposition if it were doing something wrong.

I have reasons to believe in such conspiracy ideas. Few years ago, Indian consumers and households started receiving loans to buy personal computers from the banks. Usually Indian banks do not issue loans for those kind of personal goods unless the bank knows the amount is for personal investment and can be assured it will get back. Indian consumers and households were really happy with this move of Indian Banks and they thought they were just becoming poors' friends, messengers of God. If you want to know the truth, what happened was Intel was looking forward to expand its business in India and since it has a huge population, about 1/6th of the world population, Intel would make large sales if it could make Indians buy computers that used Intel's microprocessors. So, Intel lobbied Indian Banks and the government to lend loans to Indian households who wanted to buy personal computers and it succeeded. Their motive could have been goodwill but the real motive was to earn large profits, which was veiled. This could be another case for Adam Smith's 'invisible hand' but for me, this is conspiracy.

Similarly, ten years ago Chinese did not marry the American way. They had their own way of marrying and it did not involve giving diamond rings to the bride. DeBeers, a diamond advertising agency used all the available tools such as magazines, newspapers, radio, television to spread the notion that marriage is incomplete without a diamond ring. It even promoted some marriage ceremonies with its sponsporship, giving away free diamond rings to the brides to spread this message. Today, 80% of marriages in Shanghai involve a diamond ring for brides. If you are really concerned about citations, then let me tell you that I got the above data from the book "The elephant and the dragon". I don't know that page numbers and don't care to use the proper citation styles. What would I care? This is my blog and I am not writing some paper for my course, oh well, the content may have hinted so though.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, conspiracy against the dinner plates.

If you don't seem to get what I am saying, hold an empty ceramic dinner plate in your hand during dinner and you'll know how heavy it is. Correct me if there are some other reasonable answers but I think dinner plates are insanely heavy to make us feel that we are eating alot. They want us to eat less because even if we have less food, it'll feel really heavy and we'll have the notion that we are eating more than what we should be.

Oh and yeah, CIA or FBI might be deciding to come after me for corrupting young minds with my junk of conspiracy ideas but what do I care?Hah

Mind vs Brain

Did you ever wonder what the difference between mind and brain was. I don't know if it's right or not but one day while I was just doing nothing, it dawned upon me that brain means the physical aspects, the real structures whereas mind means the mental state or has to do with the thinking and spiritual state. I like to understand it this way.

I made up my mind (am I using the word correctly?) that I would be writing whatever I want to write, including all those junks that I have in my head and want to write and my other blog will strictly be a blog of sane articles and sane mental state.

The reason I am doing this is because I believe in duality. I would be bold enough to state that duality exists in everything and would be glad to defend it if someone were to argue with me. Wave-particle duality is the one that I like the most though. It's just unbelievable how an object can exist as matter and wave. If you accept this fact, which has been proved by eminent scientists and accepted by even Einstein, then the fact that you are staring at the screen of your computer and reading this is only a probability. You could be travelling around the Eiffel tower now since you could be existing as a wave right now. The fact that you are existing as matter and occupying space in this 3-D world at any time is only a probability at that particular time.

Another duality that I believe in is, duality of thinking. Every human being has two sets of minds. Even criminals who commit heinous crimes have a set of thinking that thinks for the goodwill of society whereas the other one thinks evil. Which of them wins over the other depends on the person and the strength of their individual set of minds. I have stressed this fact in my another blog too and so it seems by having two blogs, I am repeating the same idea in both of them. The reason I am telling you that I am repeating it and still don't delete it from this blog is strange, isn't it? But this is what I am writing for. This is a vent of my weirdness. I can't promise you that I will be at the altar of my weirdness throughout this blog because my writing has to make sense to you, which in a way has already compromised me from reaching that heightened state. Anyway, you can expect a good ride in this weird world. Welcome to my weird world!

Optimism and faith with Obama

I am really excited with the way Obama has brought people together. I don't expect him to fulfill every promise he makes. He has already ignited so much hope and optimism in people and hope can take people a long way. If people have hope and faith in the government then it makes the work of the government much easier and smoother, and it can achieve much more than if the case were otherwise.

I wish every nation had a charismatic leader like him. A visionary like him. The inaugration speech was really well received. His approval ratings and positive comments about him in media and from even rival nations speaks the story for him.

State of Mind

I have always this two set of minds working simulateously at any moment. You might say, it's good to have two minds working at a time while some have none, oh well, the problem is that they just work opposite to each other. For instance, if one of them says, "Help others and try to seek happiness in others' happiness" then, the other one would say "Be pragmatic and stop worrying about others' problems. This is your life and live it for yourself." You see what I mean. I have an idealistic thinking and pragmatic thinking that confront each other leaving me utterly confused, without any fainest idea of what I should be doing and what is right for me.

And I am experiencing this quarreling among the components of my mind, right now. One of them says, go write whatever you want and the way you want, this is your blog and donot give a f... the other one says, wait, what are you doing. This is your political blog and you are talking about serious issues here. Just don't mix things up. Don't start writing your journal here and write what you are doodling. I don't know whom to listen to. I am utterly confused. How true the statement that "Noone can hurt you more than you can hurt yourself" is true for me.

I have a dream

Today I attended the March that is celebrated in the memory of Martin Luther King Jr. It was a good experience to be the part of my first political activity. I was not an active participant in the revolutions of Nepal, neither the Jana Andolan nor the Madhesh Andolan I or II.

People voiced their issues that they were marching for. People had banners demanding the end of violence against Palestines and others demanding Peace and still others asking the U.S. government to bring the Americans home. I was not carrying any banner. I should have done though. I thought Trinity University would give us a placard to write out the reason we are marching for. I knew what I was marching for, but others were clueless. I was marching for the end of poverty in the world. I was marching for equality among humans. I was marching for advocating one common religion, religion of humanity above all others. I too have a dream. I have a dream of seeing every human rich, so that noone would be richer.

Stereotypism

Sometimes I think that I think too much about events and phenomena that have no bearing on me at that time and so why waste time thinking about it? Waste time? Interesting thing to say. How would I use time 'properly' otherwise then? Reading books? Books that give me knowledge that I never might need in my practical life. What a controversial statement to make? How can I call books rubbish? Sometimes I hate this education system. I can't agree more with Pirsig, the author of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainence that education is the most orthodox form of mass hypnotism. See, what they are doing to us. They are taking us, millions of students and churning us in this system. We hardly have a choice. Before birth, our destiny is determined, if we have one. Any earlier we start learning about our surrounding, we are sent to school and are made to read those rotten books, years after years. Then, it's all the usual thing, get a job, work hard and so on. Everyone dreams of being rich as if that is the ultimate aim of life. The education that we receive has influenced our mind in such a way that we can't think there can be any other life. I loved Brave New World for showing how we are made to believe about ideas in this society. Those ideas are repeated everywhere, magazines, newspapers, radio, television, internet and so on until it becomes so imbedded in our minds that we start treating as a fact, to be unquestioned.
Can we break free from this cycle of events and stop yearning for a life having all those riches that has been carved as a utopia in our minds? Another question that we should ask ourselves is should we? Should we break free then if we can? Does everyone like pumpkin curry? If you think yes then, you are wrong. People are different and this is something today's society has been trying to do away with. Why can't people see this conspiracy? It's blatant. Make everyone read the same stuff from childhood then through college. By the time they develop their thinking, people would have same reserve of knowledge and would think alike. Why does everyone today is yearning for money? Money brings happiness, this is what has been implanted in our brains. We belive it because we cannot think of any other way. It will not be long before humans will become all alike. Sounds outrageous, doesn't it?

What is happening in Nepal?

I read an article in Times where when an Iraqi police complained about its government's irregularities, a U.S. soldier beside him told "You know the phone number of your defence ministry, don't you?" The conversation seemed to strike something in me. I can't deny that I too have been complaining about the failure of Nepalese government time and again, in various forums that I come across and give pessimistic remarks about nothing can be done by us, young minds even if we want to. I know I am wrong. Every problem has a solution. If a student whines that the problem is too diffcult, he probably never will get the solution. To do so, he needs to have a positive outlook. (I am not being sexist here by using he and not she, it's just that I don't like to clutter by using he/she when the meaning gets across anyway.) So, someday Nepal will see the light, won't it? A dark tunnel cannot last forever. At the end of the dark tunnel, light will appear. It just needs patient drivers to keep on driving without getting frustrated. Or will the gloom in Nepal continue forever like this? There are no black-holes on the Earth, are there?