Life in a Mess

If I were to stare at the mirror for half an hour, I would still be surprised with the way my life has been moving in the last few weeks. The way I have been acting, I will tell you, it is not me. To make the long story short, my life is in a mess. I have been suddenly pounded by tonnes of assignments and projects. It is not that others do not have assignments, the thing is whenever I have a choice for my paper or project topic, I often choose the one which I have absolutely no idea about or is too hot to handle or difficult to get information about. For instance, for my economics country project, I chose Nepal, my country. At first, the choice seemed obvious to me but then later as I set down to do research, I realized retrieving information about Nepal was more difficult than I had thought. There are very very few books on Nepal at Trinity Library, one I found on Nepali politics was from 1970s. Data collection in Nepal is not very scientific and is done mostly by UN groups, the government rarely collects any statistics.

You would not believe that I missed a lot of deadlines for my assignments. I do not have any record for doing so. Even though GPA does not mean much to me personally, I give a heck lot of attention to it since that is how everyone judges a student’s performance and knowledge. And missing exams, which usually happen only thrice a semester could permanently strip you of the prospect of landing an A. If there is any class that I hate so much then it is Ancient Science & Technology. No, Calculus III comes second. And, Macroeconomics comes third. Wwww…is there anything that I even like? It seems no. I am a complainer. I don’t like this system. I want to be on my own and read and study what I want. What do I want? If you ask me what is my favorite subject or discipline, my blank stare at your face might make you uneasy but yeah that is what I would do. I love a lot of disciplines. I have interest in politics, international affairs, stock market, rural and urban planning, all physical sciences, mathematics, philosophy, psychology and many more. I want to gain knowledge and read about all of these areas but no college education, not even those like Brown which do not have a mandatory Common Curriculum requirement would cater to my ‘unusual’ style. I guess, for this you could call me a complainer since I am very hard to be pleased.

I kind of drifted away while writing this. I wanted to talk about the mess my life is in right now. On Monday, I decided I would get some work done on my Ancient Science & Technology Project, which is supposed to be about a dozen pages long and so skipped the class to be in the library. A consequence of bad ‘karma’ you can call it, an important exam was scheduled and an assignment was due the same day. I had not marked my calendars and so I had no idea about these. When I think about it now, I can’t tell if skipping the class did more harm than good since if I had gone, I would have failed it, and that’s for sure. You know who wrote de Architectura Book VI? I didn’t know. What’s a sambuka? What am I talking about? Just few of the terms common in my Ancient Science & Technology class

Things are moving too fast. I am working on my Writing Workshop Paper which is about Federalism in Nepal. I chose this topic because it was interesting and I wanted to know more about it since this issue of federalism is being discussed in the Constituent Assembly in Nepal and is the hottest debate in Nepal right now. I could have easily got away with an easy topic like abortion, gay marriage, capital punishment and other common topics that we have been writing essays on from secondary school. But no, I want to learn about new things. Very Inspiring, I’m impressed you would falsely say. Now, I have got to do a lot of research about this topic. And guess what, there is not a single book in our library on this topic. With the inter-library book loan program that directs you to a page where you have to fill a long form that I do not like, I am all left to the internet. Hope Google Scholar helps. I LOVE Google. Google is such a sweetheart, the BKG (Big Kind Giant); Microsoft is such an evil monopolist and Apple is only for certain type of people, those who can afford big bucks. (As you can tell, my opinions on Microsoft and Apple have nothing to do with this article. I just wanted to say it out.)