Cultural Symbolism Behind Grass

Perfect grass after months of hard work & maintenance at Trinity University's renovated Soccer Stadium. Photo: Digital Subway

           Grass, despite being one of the most abundant life forms on the Earth, has failed to draw any noticeable attention or  secure its berth in human hearts and minds. The fact that I am even writing about grass may appear mind-boggling to some. Grass is a form of weed that adorns our garden, gives it a verdant appearance, adds vernal fresh air but needs to be trimmed down duly to maintain its aesthetics. And that’s all. I argue that grass carries with itself cultural symbols which vary across transoceanic boundaries. It impacts our lives in subtle yet important ways and therefore deserves more visible attention. Let me explain.

Grass, by the virtue of possessing a naturally green color is soothing to eyes. Unsurprisingly, after spending the entire day staring at light emanating screens at work, we go out for a run or a walk in the park rich with luscious green grass and vegetation because it soothes our eyes and offers the much needed repose to our soul that we so desperately seek. It is true that grass has receded from our vicinity as time has passed and we have to travel greater and greater distances when we desire to find solace in its vernal serenity. Yet, we still desire to have them close to our dwelling, albeit in limited amounts, of which lawns are the prime examples. Well-maintained luscious green grass is still characteristic of beautiful campuses, mansions and corporate complexes. It has certainly gone from being universal to available only to the luxurious in urban areas. It is nature’s gift that its prevalence has still been maintained in rural areas though. Nevertheless, grass has become a symbol of ornamental display.

        Cultural distinctions associated with grass across transoceanic boundaries can be understood more clearly if we foray into attitudes held towards walking on grass in these regions. My parents and grandparents in South Asia encouraged me to walk barefooted on grass, especially in the morning when dew is still fresh on their leaves. This is known to soothe one’s heel which in turn calms one’s minds. Take a continental stride right from Asia to America, walking on grass is prohibited and considered socially inappropriate. On one occasion, my friends and I took the shortcut by walking on grass instead of concrete pavement. One of the professors behind us yelled out, “Don’t walk on grass. Get off immediately.” Unhappily, we obliged.

            In another instance, a student complained because we were playing soccer in the open space. His argument was that we were killing the grass. In America, walking on grass is a taboo unless you are in the park or forest. Grass is grown and nurtured painstakingly, and watered frequently using an extensive network of fancy sprinklers supported by underground water pipelines. Municipal water suppliers even have clear guidelines and restrictions about what days and times the lawn can be watered. Clearly, any person in (rural) areas where grass grows abundantly would find this excessive expenditure of energy astonishing, if not out rightly ludicrous.

             Growing and mowing grass is a cultural activity in America. Lawn-moving is centered around this and holds a unique position in every American’s heart. Every American has his/her own memories of lawn mowing in childhood. For some, it might have been a source of additional income or a (bi) weekly ritual performed with their dad. For others it might have just been a punishment for some misdeed or a mandatory chore for continued reception of pocket money. Whatever the reason may be, every American can relate to lawn mowing. There can be some exceptions and there always are. And of course, many absolutely abhor mowing their lawn just as they do shaving (since they share a similar trait, are repetitive and monotonous) and others love it because it allows them an opportunity to reconnect with nature, expend some energy naturally or because it is a mutual family activity. This whole experience and childhood memories are centered around grass yet, we regard them with utter indifference. I did not seek motorized assistance for mowing my lawn as a kid, but I too have memories of cutting grass using a traditional “khurpi”. It was not for aesthetic reasons but rather because I enjoyed feeding the grass to the cows and buffaloes that my grandparents reared. The joy I felt as these pleasant and docile creatures munched on the grass I fed incentivized me to spend hours cutting grass as a child. Incentives diminish as we mature, I agree and eventually vanish in some cases, such as this one.

              It will be false to claim that grass has only received indifference despite its cultural and salubrious significance. Humans have selectively chosen varieties that have superior softness and aesthetics. Some of the best grasses to walk on, albeit forbidden fall in this exquisite category and are colloquially known as “carpet grass” because of its appearance. I hope that by now, you are somewhat convinced that grasses are not simply fodder for vegetarians but also cultural and visual fodder for humans.

A Naturalist’s Remorse

Construction and man-made pavements outnumber natural paths for walking. Photo: Digital Subway

It is easy to fall prey to machinations of a plebian lifestyle. And it normally takes a stimulant or in its absence, a conscious effort to resist this temptation. Our deviation from spiritual to material beings has followed along a continuum, which is largely why many of us have embraced without any questioning. However, once in a while we come down with this bout of dissatisfaction, sense of guilt or maybe even acute depression and are not sure how or why it came about. I will share with you a little revelation (self-rambling) I had.

A few days ago, I was taking a barefooted walk. I hope you know that walking without an artificial layer of protection between our heels and the Earth is fun. The experience is not transformative yet it is uniquely rewarding because suddenly we have a greater awareness of our surroundings. While walking in our shoes, our heels are indifferent to grass, gravel pavements or tarred roads.

Barefooted, I could feel the textures of pebbles, thick and thin grasses, tarred roads and varieties of soil. While I was trying to avoid concrete pavements, just because walking on grass felt a lot softer and kinder on my heels, it struck me that walking on grass has become a luxury. Everywhere I looked, I saw concrete pavements. Grass was rare. I came to realize that one of the most abundant substances on the Earth had become a rarity in the region with high population density. Nature is absent where humans are present. And this feeling pushed me into further contemplation, an abysmal realization as I would later determine.

Trinity University's beauty is marred by construction and concrete rubble. Photo: Digital Subway

The roads and pavements that we have constructed out of tons of cement, sand, rocks, fired clay and tar has been brought about by mass displacements of these substances from its original destination. Thousands of clay-fired bricks for construction is prepared by digging out large amounts of clay which leaves behind islands of emptied Earth, only later to be filled as puddles or ponds by rain. Tons of concrete is manufactured by mining limestone from caves and mountains which renders them unstable and vulnerable to further erosion. Similarly, sand for preparing the right density of concrete is obtained by digging up river basins or grinding rocks collected from rivers or mountains which alters the landscape and decreases the capacity of rivers to soak water. What we proudly call development is limited to our vicinity and if seen, in the light of a larger area is an unplanned, unwise and eco-destructive resource displacement.

It does not always require one to be in a thinking session to be struck by such grossly inappropriate human actions. All it takes is a receptive mind. We do not always realize the full implications or ramifications of our actions. Circumspection, although essential has been used very infrequently. Take for instance, the remorse and suffering after a natural disaster like flood strikes a region. We are smart and quick to call it a “natural” disaster oblivious of the fact that it could have been caused due to our own unwise action of emptying out sands from river-beds. Similarly, by replacing natural grasses with concrete pavements, we reduce its natural capacity to maintain moisture, regulate water cycle and resist desertification. And then again, we feel terrible that the God brought upon us yet another drought or excessive rainfall this season.

Natural imbalances that we (humans) are inducing inadvertently have been pointed out by several naturalists, scientists, saints and philosophers alike. However, the human populations driven by materialistic instincts are more comfortable believing the rational explanations offered by economists that environmental impacts are simply by-products of development. A less pristine environment is tolerable to maintain the high standards of living. We are assured that even if we have unusually hot summers or frigid winters, air conditioning units (thanks to smart engineers) will continue to keep us cozy. Occasional brown-outs or black-outs caused on days with severe weather (an unusual snow day or during a heat wave) is attributed to anomalies in our aging transmission grid and electrical failures. Unless we are willing to admit that development is synonymous to ecological destruction, we may lie as much as we like about “natural” causes of calamities but their frequencies will keep increasing. The fact that 2010 and 2011 were among the years with most “natural” disasters around the world should serve as an evidence to the claim proposed in this article.

In Defense of Non-Vegetarianism

Should we eat meat? There are several reasons why we should not, yet most of us consume meat despite knowing the harm to the animals or the environment. I attempted to formulate an argument in favor of consuming meat for my Environmental Ethics course. Read it if you think it might be of interest to you.

Should we spare it or kill it? Source: http://bit.ly/hwVCif

Ecologists and animal liberationists have argued against eating meat because consumption of meat is unhealthy and unethical. They have launched movements calling for a complete halt of meat consumption on grounds of ecology, animal liberation, human health and global justices. It can be agreed that commercialization of meat production and distribution has institutionalized mistreatment of animals and therefore, operation of such large-scale animal farms have to stop. However, to ask all humans to stop eating meat, such as beef and become vegetarians is neither pragmatic nor ethical. If prevention of animal deaths is the primary motive behind promoting vegetarianism then, environmentalists will need to devote resources in preventing animal deaths even in the wild. Trying to prevent animal deaths due to natural causes such as overpopulation, food shortage, poisonous plants, diseases or preys by carnivores will not be pragmatic. On the other hand, if carnivores can continue preying on animals, it would be unethical to demand omnivores like humans to limit themselves to an herbivorous diet. 

Ecologists like Coffin and Fox have argued that meat consumption is unsustainable since it has created immense pressures on ground water supply and land productivity. Fox has further argued that eating meat is unhealthy and meat production is a threat to biodiversity. In light of these valid arguments, alternatives to resource-intensive meat production should be sought. Instead of feeding grains to animals like cows, age-old practice of grazing grass in approved pasture lands should be performed locally. Since humans would consume animal protein processed from cellulose, grain production could still be reserved to feed humans. In addition, localized animal husbandry has potential to optimize use of resources and diversify breeds of cows reared. In order to make meat diet healthy, animals have to be reared naturally, i.e. without injection of artificial growth hormones and meat consumption will have to be curtailed from the current level. A limited consumption of beef will be no unhealthier than many vegetarian diet containing oils that are high in fatty acids and cholesterol. 

A prominent utilitarian and animal liberationist, Peter Singer, calls upon non-vegetarians to give up meat consumption on grounds of human justice so that grains used to feed poultry and farm animals can be used to feed hungry population in less privileged regions. Taking his argument in consideration, it has already been suggested in the paragraph above that local farmers should use grass and shrubs containing cellulose (a form of nutrient humans could not have digested directly) to feed cows and other animals. Adopting a localized animal husbandry in place of commercialized large scale animal farms will appease ecologists and environmentalists to a large extent and limited beef consumption can be continued. 

Despite some vegetarian diet providing an equivalent amount of protein or calories, meat eaters argue that meat has high culinary value and tastes good. The fact that meat is also rich in protein and has high calorie content serves as a secondary motive. Such forgone culinary value could not be easily substituted by a vegetarian diet. Advocates of vegetarianism often argue that human canine teeth and digestive system are not designed for consumption of raw meat and thus, nature does not want humans to consume meat. Carnivores on other hand, can consume meat since they have well designed canine teeth and digestive system to process raw meat. I find this argument feeble and shortsighted. Humans have used their skills and instincts to design solutions for survival using natural resources. Discovery of fire, albeit by accident has allowed humans to increase palatability of meat but this process can be considered only as unnatural as use of clothing or shelter to “artificially” protect ourselves from hostilities of the nature. The shortsightedness of the argument should be apparent by extending it to “artificial” use of jet engines to fly even though nature has not provided humans with wings for aerodynamic flight and navigation.

Other animal liberationists such as Tim Regan argue against meat consumption on moral grounds stating that since animals have rights, killing animals is unethical. Warren responds to Regan’s animal rights argument by pointing out animal deaths caused due to natural causes. If Regan’s animal rights theory were accepted, humans would be morally obligated to prevent animal deaths in the wild and also stop herbivores from being preyed by carnivores. Demanding a vegetarian diet from humans and allowing carnivores to prey unabated is an application of double standards. Furthermore, while movements to call for vegetarianism is fairly recent, meat has been part of human diet since ancient times when humans lived in hunter-gatherer societies. Meat consumption fulfills ritualistic purposes and preserves important cultural aspects in several societies. Feasting on meat is a communal human activity with ancient roots that has been carried into modern societies in the form of celebration such as Thanksgiving Day, which is centered around eating turkey, a form of meat. Consumption of meat (like beef) in limited amounts is justified and should be permissible if it is produced through application of small-scale animal husbandry practices that are resource friendly and do not impose undue pressures on existing global food production. 

On the Fate of Lucky, the Elephant at San Antonio Zoo

I wrote this article for my environmental ethics course in response to support the movement that is working to free Lucky, an elephant at the San Antonio Zoo. I figured this might be of interest to people interested in animal rights.

Lucky, an elephant at San Antonio Zoo has been captive for almost five decades, even more than 24-25 years which is called life imprisonment for humans. Source: http://bit.ly/fBvfmb

Lucky, a 53 year old Asian female elephant currently at San Antonio Zoo needs to be freed and transferred to Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee. Despite living in unfavorable conditions, she has lived longer than any other elephant at San Antonio Zoo and remained as the lone survivor until another Asian elephant named Boo was recently acquired. Taking a non-anthropocentric stance and using Dale Jamieson’s arguments against zoos, I argue that zoos are an unsuitable place for elephants, the largest land mammals on the Earth. Jamieson argues that animal captivity in zoos is immoral when it fails to provide any substantial entertainment or educational experience to humans. Any child or student would learn more about an elephant by reading a book, watching animal planet documentaries or even Disney cartoons than seeing the giant locked up miserably in a space that does not reflect its natural habitat. On the contrary, observing Lucky in a static position for a long time might lead a child to believe that elephants are generally lazy which would be an incorrect inference since elephants in the wild on average walk more than ten miles daily (IDA Letter). In addition, watching a static animal in a cramped space is far from entertaining. Utilitarians such as Peter Singer might argue that animal captivity can be justified if the total utility (entertainment and education) provided is greater than the negative utility (suffering) of the animal. However, SA Zoo as an institution has failed to amuse or educate its visitors about an elephant and thus can no longer claim that Lucky needs to remain at the zoo to serve public interest.

According to the Voice for Animals, most zoo elephants die before reaching the age of 40 while on average elephants live up to 60 in the wild. Radical egalitarians like Tom Regan would consider this as a violation of the animal’s “Right to Life” while Jamieson would term this as violence since captivity prevents the mammal from realizing its full potential. Furthermore, Jamieson would fail to see any reason for Lucky’s presence in SA Zoo since it has neither been used for any kind of life-saving scientific research nor reared to preserve an endangered species. In fact, he would be appalled to realize that a happy and healthy four year old female Asian elephant was captured and transported thousands of miles away to be placed among non-native African elephants ostensibly for entertainment and education of American population.

San Antonio Zoo. Source: http://bit.ly/fVj0Tk

It appears that zoos captivate the biggest land mammals on the Earth to display it as a treasure and use it as a major attraction for visitors just like kings in the past used to own the best and most fierce gladiators to entertain its public. Animal captivity in zoos shows that even though [human] slavery is over, animal slavery is still in practice. The director of San Antonio Zoo, Steve McCusker kept Lucky, an Asian elephant with an African elephant despite the risks of contagion. After 49 years, he still refuses to grant her the freedom that she is entitled to. Ignoring the recommendations of In Defense of Animals (IDA), Voice for Animals and other animal welfare groups, McCusker has chosen to add yet another Asian elephant named Boo to the zoo’s collection instead of sending Lucky to the sanctuary. The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee has agreed to bear all costs associated to Lucky’s transportation but it seems McCusker is too reluctant to free its “slave” without compensation. After all, zoos are business enterprises set up to maximize profit rather than animal care centers set out of overflowing passion. Any sane human who cares for animals would not advocate caging of animals since zoos are like prisons where innocent animals are caged for no discernible crime.

Regan does not see animals as mere resources and as a radial egalitarian might argue for an immediate rehabilitation of Lucky in native forests of Thailand, its true home. But keeping in perspective the fact that Lucky has been living in a zoo environment for the last 49 years, it might be rational to rehabilitate her at Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee where she can be taken care of in old age, if she were to need help. To prolong Lucky’s captivity any further would be a crime since she deserves to be closer to the nature, walk several miles every day for which her feet is designed, meet native mates and experience the air of freedom before taking her last breath.

Anyone reading this?

I haven't written in a long time even though a lot has been happening. I don't know if I should keep writing. I mean my writing is no longer as good as it used to be. And I don't know if people read this. But anyway, I am loving my dreadlocks. My dreads have transformed progressively and it is a great feeling to see it evolve. With it, I am evolving too socially and emotionally. I am getting used to increased attention, stares and compliments. I only wonder what I will do if someone tells me my dreads don't look good. Because saying that would be akin to saying a mom that her kid doesn't look good. She would not tolerate another word from that person.

Missing Joy in Life

This is a guest post by an author who has chosen to be known by his psuedo name "The Philosopher".

Something is missing. What it is, I do not know. Wow, this sounds almost like statement in the Matrix made by Neo. Maybe it is why I so much like the Matrix. I feel it is so relevant and philosophical to my and other peoples’ lives too. Alright, this was a tangential offshoot. Something definitely does not feel right. Nothing or no one makes me happy anymore. How or since when this feeling started, I cannot recall. But I seek solace in loneliness, away from presence of any human soul. I find myself trying to distance from human company, slipping quietly from any human gathering into solitude. I fear I am starting to earn the reputation of a loner. I spent entire Sunday afternoon cleaning my room and then staring at my computer either blogging or browsing on facebook. In the evening, I got bored with my computer and so took refuge in my second favourite place after bedroom- general library.

Sometimes I wish I had kept a journal where I could have just let loose my random rants. It would have made me feel better at least instead of keeping these weird thoughts bottled up. There is a fear in expressing such thoughts since it could easily earn one the label of a “weirdo”. Everyone has these thoughts once in a while, some people hide it while others cannot hide it and hence appear as weak ones. After all, how can humans despise human company and have any affinity towards loneliness? To be human is to be social. Civilization has designed activities, rituals and organized family units so that humans can live in groups/cohorts. How can one reject all this? If you feel lonely, find a hobby, play sports, join a club or simply go listen to music, watch movies, et cetera. Is the desire to be on his own, a natural drive for ‘The Naked Ape’ aka humans as Desmond Morris likes to call.

I know no one is ever, and I really mean ever going to read this random incoherent rant that I am writing past midnight instead of going to bed despite knowing I have to wake up early for class at 8 am. Yet, my fingers keep moving and somehow thoughts keep pouring. Maybe because I haven’t written freestyle in a long time. Everytime I have tried to write conformist pieces, ones that I can post to my blog and would be acceptable by others since many can and would associate those words with my image/personality.

Do I even know the source of my longing for loneliness? Why I am trying to run away from human civilization? Is it because my “unhappiness is a direct result of contradiction between my natural drive and civilization’s needs”? Yes, this phrase in quotes is Freudian idea that I read today in Elizabeth’s book, “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s search....”. It’s such a good book. I’ve said this before too. Maybe I like the book because Liz, the protagonist is lonely and depressed too. I find solace in her character and portrayal. And judging from its immense popularity and subsequent filming of a movie based on its story proves that other people identified themselves with the lonely, depressed pleasure seeking protagonist woman. By pleasure I do not mean bodily pleasure alone. She claims she isn’t seeking that even though I can sense she is lying when she says that.

So, what am I seeking? Is it love? Sex? Pleasure? Enlightenment? I do not know for sure. It may be more on the lines of joy. I am seeking joy. I think joy is missing in my life. I do experience occasional joys though. For instance, when I am just lying down or napping in Albert park under the Sun in the afternoon practising the art of doing nothing, that’s when I feel joyful. The same joy is felt when I go running in Auckland domain during the evenings. Joy is greater when I go alone because often I cannot catch up with pace of my other friend that I used to go running with. Listening to music, especially sufi and qawwali by Nusrat Fateh and Ghulam Ali brings joy. But besides these, I struggle to find joy. Drinking offers occasional escapes from boredom but I know it is like taking a shortcut and thus not good for you/me.

I need to learn how to derive joy from mundane worldly activities. I need a GURU.

Book Recommendations

I have been wanting to write about lots of stuff, all the thoughts I have been having. But somehow I cannot allocate any time to write it on my blog for several reasons ranging from its questionable appropriateness to fear of small reader audience. So much energy spent and only a few "loyal" readers (I know I have some) would ever read it. This thought puts me off every time.

Instead of writing what's on my mind and expressing my ideas, I have resorted to absorbing /cramming yet more material, information and literature in my mind through reading books, mostly popular non-fiction. Ideas that they have filled me with make me feel albeit for an instant like an intellectual. All of those ideas are borrowed obviously but now I am starting to see it manifest in real life. Human behaviour is mostly what I have been reading about. But I have learnt about it from different perspectives: from a zoologist Desmond Morris, a behavioural psychologist Paul Ekman, evolutionist and physiologist Jared Diamond and another psychologist Nancy Etcoff among others. Below are some of the books I would recommend you read if you haven't already. Most of them are relatively old, meaning published before this millenium (2000s).

1. The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris
2. Survival of the Fittest by Nancy Etcoff
3. Telling Lies by Paul Ekman
4. Why is sex Fun? by Jared Diamond

The books listed above are by no means the masterpieces by respective authors for they have written several other notable good books. Feel free to read other books by these authors. After reading The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris, I set on to watch six volume TV series called The Human Animal presented by Morris and premiered on BBC in 1960s or something. I have only managed to watch four out of six since all are on video cassettes that have to be played in VCR players in the library. And, I am only allowed to watch them inside the library. I don't mind that.

I have learnt quite a bit from these books and some have overlapping descriptions and examples. For instance, Diamond, Morris and Etcoff all use example of a peacock's tail to stress the fact that it is used as a courtship signal since it advertises its ability to maintain such a resource consuming entity. If a peacock can afford to maintain such a bulky and beautiful tail despite of being vulnerable to be preyed upon, then it surely must be special and capable of devoting resources to her partner or off-springs. I will describe more in my other posts how I have started experimenting with the ideas presented in these books in my real life. I have started watching people more now, observing their behavior and trying to understand why they do what they do. A human watcher, you can call me. Desmond Morris employs secret cameras in restaurants and bars to understand human courtship behavior. So, I don't feel bad about it.

Today I was reading the book called "Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for..." by Elizabeth Gilbert and is truly entertaining. I don't particularly like fiction, but descriptions in this book is so honest that it almost seems real. I seem to agree with lots of her statements and inadvertently feel like I am the protagonist. It's crazy to realize men and women despite their biological differences share so much in common when it comes to desires and instincts. I thank her for giving such honest descriptions about human feelings. At times, it does get cheesy though when she starts talking about God and adds drama which breaks authenticity and makes it seem like yet another fiction novel. 

I haven't finished the book yet since the library did not let me borrow it. It is listed under Continuing Education section and apparently I have to be a member of that to borrow it. Strange. I am also going to watch the movie based on the book today. I wonder how it will be to read rest of the book after watching the movie. Julia Roberts is my favorite actress and so I am confident she will do justice to the role of the protagonist in Elizabeth's book. This book is written in a style that appears a work of fiction but is also an awful lot like autobiography of the author. It reminds me of Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid. You should read it, if you haven't. It's wonderful and has an open ending.

The ideas expressed in this post will be followed up later in other future posts.

Rules, too many freaking rules

I am not a rule follower. I know that's not a pleasant thing to say and if you are someone who knows me personally, you would look down upon this statement. Don't come chasing after me if something wrong happens though. There are hundreds, thousands or possibly millions like me. There are too many systemic rules in this world. Rules, freaking rules everywhere. If you want to be different, you just can't. You have to do what you are asked to. It's like "to differ is to suffer".

Why am I complaining about rules? Because I have been getting all these random fines everywhere. What a way to force a free spirit to bow down to systemic rules and practices. Oh, you cruel world designed by social and cultural braniacs. You make me feel like a maniac for breaking rules and being an outlier. I borrowed a library book and returned the day after. Guess what? A fine of 33 bucks. Are you kidding me? I mean seriously are you freakin kidding me? It was supposedly a short loan book only for two hours. Who the fuck can read a book in two hours? It's like you borrow the book and without even going to the bathroom, you start reading and put a timer. You don't want to exceed two hours.

Another instance. Last week, I walked into my apartment after midnight from a dinner party at one of the professor's house. Five minutes later, a security guy at apartment complex knocks at the door because there were too many people in our apartment and we were noisy and wrote me and one of my apartment mate a fine. I tried explaining him I had just walked in and wasn't part of it. He wouldn't even listen. He suggested I talk to the administration. Administration said I had to write a formal letter which I did. A couple days later, I get a reply saying the case was reviewed with security and the fines cannot be removed. If I did not pay the fines within 3 days, more fines would accrue. They didn't even talk to me or give me a chance to explain. Is that what you call justice? Oh you cruel world. Someone makes the rules and rules are rules, no one can break them. As if these man made arbitrary practices were engraved in some holy text, which are written by humans too.

You want to hear another story? My credit balance showed $1.22 which was below minimum payment of $10 so I thought there was no need to pay. A couple days later, I checked my account and I see a fine of $35 for not paying $1.22. Are you freakin' kiddin me Bank of America? Where is your fucking fairness? How can you charge a fine that is almost 25 times more? And who do you complain to? These freakin banks are large multinational corporations. It's not like they have an owner or manager you can talk to. You go talk to receptionist at your nearest bank branch and they'll make you go through so many bureaucratic practices that you would waste more time trying to retrieve that amount than you could earn working at Starbucks for the same time. No, I don't plan to work at Starbucks, not even after graduation.

Every time a system frustrates me, be it political, economic or social, I think about the movie "Into the Wild".

Shooting at UT Austin

It is natural to feel concerned when a 19 year old guy shoots himself with an AK 47 inside the library at UT-Austin which is only an hour or so away from Trinity University that I attend. How in the world does a 19 year old boy get hold of an AK-47? Also, what could force a relatively privileged and intelligent individual (majoring in Mathematics) to end one's life this way? One can only wonder. We all oscillate along ups and downs of life, but these vagaries of life are part of living as a human.

Every year we hear about these tragic shooting events on campus and are saddened only hoping that it would not repeat again. To our dismay, it just keeps happening again and again. Fortunately in this one, the guy was not a maniac and he did not shoot at any human, instead vented his frustration by firing at the Church building and in the air (at possibly God who supposedly resides in Heaven).

Should we reconsider gun laws in the US, especially in Texas and at educational institutions? Who says having access to more guns means more security? The converse can very well be true. Here in New Zealand, I rarely see cops in downtown Auckland city and even if I do, none of them carry any gun. Yup, cops here don't carry any ammunition with them. Yet I feel safe while walking on downtown streets and alleys alone past midnight.

My sympathies to the family who lost their beloved young son.

You can read the news about Shooting at UT Austin by Associated Press.

Rendezvous with a Stranger of Questionable Sexuality

New Zealand Travel Diary, Entry #9

I have not updated you since a week about events and happening in my Auckland life. Blame it on my laziness!

So, what has been going on? A couple days ago, a random guy walked up to me and said,

Guy: Hi, are you from India?
Me: No.
Guy: I see you a lot around the university and just wanted to introduce myself. It's a pleasure to meet you. I am from Bangladesh and doing Master's in Electrical Engineering.
Me: Oh cool, I am doing Electrical Engineering too, undergrad.
Guy: (bowing down) It's a pleasure to meet you.
Me: Ok. 

And I walked away not sure of what to make of this rendezvous with a stranger. Has a random person ever walked to you and introduced himself extremely politely and said "It's a pleasure to meet you" twice? It made no sense. I mean, we always see some faces regularly yet we usually wait for an opportunity or someone to introduce the other person to us. That's the accepted social protocol. This one was clearly an outlier, an act of bold social protocol violation. I mulled over it and tried to come with some logical reasoning. Maybe I truly stood out in this more than 40,000 student population at this university and importantly, among 1000 or more students of Indian origin who may(or may not) look alike to outsiders.

But this did not convince me. I know my facial features are not unique because several people in the past (while I was in Nepal) have walked up to me saying I resemble their brother. I am serious. However, I let this event pass attempting to convince myself that I was special.

A few days later, I met this guy again. I said hello. He reciprocated and shook my hands rather softly and said, 

You are looking good.

That felt uncomfortable, a lot more uncomfortable than the first meeting. Puzzles started unraveling and things started falling into place. That soft handshake and extreme politeness with a repeated "It's a pleasure to meet you" statements all pointed to his questionable sexuality. I tried resisting reaching this conclusion because Indian people usually do not express their homosexuality openly. I tried convincing my mind that the guy might be a genuinely nice guy just trying to make friends. But, I could not afford to take any risk, could I? The guy definitely seems to getting wrong ideas and his future looks bleak, to say the least. Since then, I have tried distancing myself from this particular individual of questionable sexuality. But, since we have classes in the same Engineering Building, that is not an easy task. Yesterday, despite my continuous efforts to avoid him, he gave me his mystic smile. I walked away not knowing how to respond.

Read Entry #8 of New Zealand Travel Diary Series here.

Read Entry #7 of New Zealand Travel Diary Series here.
Read Entry #6 of New Zealand Travel Diary Series here. 
Read Entry #5 of New Zealand Travel Diary Series here. 

Read Entry #4 of New Zealand Travel Diary Series here.
Read Entry #3 of New Zealand Travel Diary Series here.
Read Entry #2 of New Zealand Travel Diary Series here.
Read Entry #1 of New Zealand Travel Diary Series here. 

A Youth's Confession

I will assume that you noticed the change in my blog's outlook, namely in its template and organization. Even if you didn't, never mind, there are deeper things to be conveyed. It's 4 am in the morning which raises an all important question, why the Hell am I still awake? This is no exam time, in fact, it's Winter Break and there is absolutely nothing to be done (not counting sleeping as an activity, that is).

I could easily take away the first prize for complaining against examination and whole idea behind testing students instead of letting education be for sake of true learning. And, now that I have all time in the world to learn on my own, to explore my interests, innate philosophical queries, I scramble for a schedule that would keep me occupied. I did read some good books and watched a lot of good movies but I felt something was incomplete, something was missing. After reading Tolstoy, my belief in meaninglessness of life was strengthened while after reading Christopher Hitchen's atheist book, "God does not exist, How Religion poisons everything, I took pride in being an atheist.

I know I am rambling. What else can one do at 4 am in the morning? More than once have I felt the temptation to start an anonymous blog where I can write what I truly believe, what I truly think, what runs in my mind. I could write what I truly think here, but I fear wrath of judgement by people who know me. What I write here is simply a construct, a literary construct bounded by social protocols and conventions that appeases my readers and is far from radical or true. I want to write about religion and its impact on our life but if I were to write honestly, it would be a blasphemy, another Danish Cartoon show.

I have come to realize that active imagination begets unhappiness because the more I think, the less happy I become. In our youths, we begin to see real world situations and dream of making a difference, improving lives of people around us. Every youth thinks he is special and can really make an impact in the world. I am no exception. I used to think all the time that I could make an impact in lives of Nepalese people and that if I could get into politics, I could develop Nepal. Seeing events in Nepal unfold, it seems I am looking through the wrong end of the telescope. Dream is nowhere near. These days, even thinking about Nepal and its condition (which I feel is degrading) makes me sad. 

I think I will be happy the day I will stop thinking. A paradox

Why Humans are Never Satisfied

An excellent comic of why humans are never satisfied. It's very funny and accurate. Should motivate you to reflect on your own lives.

Picure taken from: Fortune Watch.

Schools Kill Creativity

There is a direct correlation between my affinity for schools and number of days to finals. And discernibly, the relation is inverse. In fact, my affinity for schools is inversely proportional to the square of number of days remaining for the finals.

As finals approach, I think I channel my mental energy to activities that I am made to to instead of ones I think are important in my personal development intellectually. This drives me into a mental introspective state where I conduct philosophical surgeries and spiritual operations as to what truly is the purpose of exams. Call it undue mental stress levied due to academic pressures or my bias against conventional testing methods, namely examinations, I fail to see its benefits.

Since I did not want to study for my Mechanics and Differential Equations exams two days from now or work on my paper, or on my design project or presentation, I watched this video that resonated with my current state of mind. The video argues that schools kill creativity by giving rise to academic hierarchies at the top of which sits mathematics followed by humanities and arts at the bottom. And, this hierarchy is precisely determined by marketability of each discipline, meaning how suitable is it for getting a job. We study what we study not necessarily because we truly are passionate about that discipline but because it has a better scope and has a greater probability of making our lives better, monetarily and tangibly of course.

Take a look at the video, if you have time. It's fascinating, not to mention humorous.

Thanksgiving Dinner, American Style

When I tell my friends that I will be staying at Trinity (on-campus) over the Thanksgiving Break, they flood me with their sympathies. I really don't that much because I had no idea what Thanksgiving meant until I came to the US. I actually used to think it had something to do  with appreciating others and saying thank you. How stupid right? Turkey, eating a turkey dinner should have sprouted to my mind. Anyway, I feel sad when I miss festivals celebrated back home.

I thought Thanksgiving would never have any meaning for me until I had my Thanksgiving Dinner with my host family. No, Turkey was not the part that appealed to me. Turkey does not even taste good. Oh, oh, I just said it. Goat and chicken meat resonate with my taste buds better. Can't help that goat's meat is the most delicious meat in the world, if you know how to cook that is. This year I had Thanksgiving Dinner at two places. I know, right. The first one was on Wednesday, a day before with InterVarsity. The second one was with a half-Nepali, half-American family. The food was good but the atmosphere was even better.

I could imagine how blissful it would be to see all family members unite for a nice family dinner. Amazing. We talked about a lot of good things. And then it was followed by a game of Poker. Before we left, I also got a chance to play records on their really old device. I don't even know what the name is. Wait a minute. It is called Gramophone. No, that did not come off top of my head, I wikipedia'd it.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. And thanks everyone for reading this. It's Thanksgiving day.

Free Hugs in New York

What can you get for free in New York?

• Bad odour.
• Unsolicited pamphlets/flyers on streets.
• Free newspapers.
• Unwanted brochures slid under your apartment door.
• Scolding by cab drivers and busy pedestrians.
• Look of indiference on city dwellers.

What else? I can't think of anything that you could actually use or has some meaning to you. Who gives away anything for free of some signifigance these days?

I was surprised when I saw a guy, roughly 19-20 years of age holding a sign that read, "Free Hugs" in Times Square, New York. At first, I thought it was some kind of trap that first gives you useless free stuffs and then makes you buy something as a trade-off. Wary of such disasters, I moved on. Several steps further, I saw more young people holding the sign. And, this time there were girls too. While I was watching them with curiosity, I saw some people actually reached out and hugged the volunteers. I could not wait to take out my cell-phone and click a photo with my prized 5 Megapixel camera. (I call it prized because even I-phone 3G-S has a 3 Megapixel integrated camera.)

Times Square of New York has always amused me and encaptivated with its outrageously lively atmosphere. It is the only place in the world where you can expect to see and meet people from all over the world. And, probably also the only place where a camera never stops clicking. Click. Click. Flashes, everywhere. There were actually so many people with the sign, "Free Hugs" that I knew it no more could be an individual based effort. There must be something going on, I thought. And, owing to my curiosity or 'inquisitive nature', as I like to call it, I was tempted more than once to approach and ask one of the volunteers holding the sign. But that would mean, I would have to hug the person. This time, owing to my cultural upbringing, I moved back. You see, it's a cultural thing. I grew up in Nepal, a pretty conservative society where men do not hug women, it would be termed 'inappropriate'. I have hugged women in the past, but always with reluctance and yes, I did get nervous first few times. Now, they do it, I just give in.

So, when I got home, I could not contain my inquisitive curiosity and Googled at the first possible chance. And, I found a very interesting story. It was started by a person with a very noble mission. He was in helpless state at an aiport in the UK. So, he cut off a piece of card-board and held the sign, "Free Hugs".** People gave him strange looks but after few minutes a woman came and talked to him about her deceased dog the same morning. And this was how this "Free Hugs" campaign started. I think this is a very good campaign, a very humane one. I have lived in New York for a couple of months and have seen how they are one of the most unhappiest*, unsatisfied* people in the world and so, they are the ones who need the hugs the most.

**Find more information, here. http://freehugscampaign.org/

* I know I have made a very controversial statement and I do not intend to explain why I believe so. I will do so in my future posts.

A Weekend at Georgetown University

Perched on a hilltop lies the beautiful Georgetown University. Boasting of a moderate climate throughout the year, it has very artistic buildings that carry a history of its own. And, the river Potomac that runs by the university makes it look more like an ideal residence place than merely a university.

The scene under the key bridge at sunset is something I thought only existed in movies and artists' imagination. Walking on the boardwalk overlooking the mesmerizing sunset view transports one in a world where there is nothing to worry, no traffic rules to follow, no 10 to 5 work to go and no desire to cater to materialistic vanity.
The location of Georgetown University is ideal for innovation, introspection and inquisition. Sandeep Gautam, my friend at Georgetown University tells me this location was chosen to encourage prospective future leaders to think peacefully and prepare to assume leadership positions in the future, nothing short of presidential ones. No wonder, Georgetown produced the very talented, articulate and humanitarian US President Bill Clinton. And, many more presidents and global leaders are budding under the serenic umbrella of Georgetown University.

Impact of Recession on Students

What has the current recession done to students?

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  Left them jobless over the summer, which translates to less pocket money to spend
  
  
  
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  Increased the burden on students and their families.
  
  
  
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  More work during the college session to make up for summer income foregone
  
  
  
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  Increased competition for on-campus jobs
  
  
  
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  More work and increased stress will lead to lower performance
  
  
  
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  Deprived them of internship positions and among the few internship positions that have not been cancelled in light of recession, they have been transformed to unpaid ones
  
  
  
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  Affected their college choices. Many of them can not attend their dream colleges and opt for a less expensive one because their parents can not afford due to reduced financial aid or loss of job
  
  
  

The recession has hit the students really hard. Statistics are available to tell the story that this summer, teen unemployment was the highest in several decades. Hope the situation gets better.

Adventurous Summer

It's been very long since I wrote anything. So much needs to be said. I have been on quite an adventurous trip this summer. Unlike my first nine months in the United States, I went out-of-state for the first time. For the first time, I got to see high rise buildings, greenery, trees on both sides of the road and people walking in the streets. And, this street was not in downtown.

When I was studying in Texas, my friends asked me if I found the Texas accent any strange. And I was in no position to answer that because that was the only accent I had been exposed to. I mean, I used to watch English movies but I never paid any detail to the accent because all of my attention was focused on understanding what the characters are saying or probably reading the subtitles if such privileges were available. But now that I moved out of Texas all the way to the NorthEast to states like Maryland, New York and New Hampshire, I can see how Texas accent is very different than the accent people use here in the NorthEast.

Obviously, more needs to be said and written. And that will come in installments. First of all, I have decided to have one grand blog instead of having separate ones for different genres, one for my high school, one for political issues in Nepal, one for my life in college, one for photography and so on. This will be the information highway and combine all blogs together. So, it will be advised that readers choose the genre and sort through this soon-to-be digital matrix.

Who is the Owner of the Ruler?

Saturday Morning. I walked towards Murchison Computer Lab, a 24 hour quiet study area with my Vector Mechanics for Engineers and Calculus Transcendentals, each of which are nowhere less than five pounds to spend the next several hours computing and understanding nonsense mathematical equations and 3-D graphs. Not having a graphing calculator aggravates the mathematical pain. Unlike last Saturday, the study lounge was relatively vacant and much peaceful, there weren’t any couples there. At least that appeased the mathematical torture that was to come. No sooner than I unpacked my bags and sat down to work on Calculus first, my eyes fell on a shiny metallic ruler left unattended on a table beside me. My initial reaction was a sense of annoyance to these careless kids of rich parents who have plenty to spend on Trinity's outrageously priced stationery items at Barnes and Nobles Bookstore. Next to that table was a pencil that was left behind. Every time I walk in a study lounge, I know I am in the United States because something is left behind and no one cares.

My initial annoyance towards the careless owner of the metallic ruler changed to an uncomfortable feeling when a little unnerving realization came to my mind about how much it resembled my own metallic ruler. I checked my bag and saw the ruler was missing from its usual place. The insinuation was not positive and I didn’t want to believe that the ruler was mine. I did not have a history of carelessness. My memory added some details by recapping the two days earlier scene when I had walked in and had sat on that same table to do my economics assignment. Obviously, I had used the ruler to draw graphs that make little practical sense to me. I checked my bag and realized pencil, eraser, sharpener, few pens and other items were intact but one item was missing- my metallic ruler. It was hard for me to believe that even if I had left my ruler, it would not have remained there for 2 days; it was shiny enough to lure the laptop-thieves if luck had not been on his/her side and could not get his/her hands on any laptop. It was an unpleasant feeling that I could have been careless enough to leave it there. Furthermore, it was a quirky feeling to lay my hands on a ruler that been left behind in a study lounge. My dorm is the second closest dorm to Murchison Study Lounge and it aided my otherwise threshold motivation to go to my room and see if I have left my ruler in the drawer.

It added to my embarrassment when I realized that the ruler was mine. I felt stupid and childish for making generalizations about careless people being rich, I was careless but I am far from rich. I learnt a lesson. And I am glad I am at Trinity since I learn something every day.

Dream. Inspire. Achieve.

What's up with the Pope?

When you realize no one is really paying attention to you or commenting on your Facebook status even though you change it more often than you change your underwear then, you act out of desperation and write something really stupid. Don’t tell me you have not seen people writing controversial statements on their Facebook statuses expecting tonnes of comments.

It seems Pope has been using a lot of Facebook these days, with high privacy settings, of course. What should I make of his Facebook status message which says that the use of condoms would make the ailing situation of AIDS in Africa even worse? Of course, he fulfilled his purpose by drawing out thousands of comments. Did he act out of desperation because for Christians, religion was starting to get limited to Sundays? He caused a stir and uproar among the large population. Even many Catholics must have felt really let down and misrepresented. I mean what is his basis? A person with his authority is in no position to make value judgments. It would be stupid to think he had not foreseen that this mass uproar would be created. Pope must have been watching a lot of Britney and must have learnt from her on how to stage a publicity stunt. Well done the Great Pope, you are a quick learner.

Abstinence? Why should anyone abstain from sex? Sex is a physiological need. Humans are unusual in that they have too less sex. I’m not kidding. If you were to look at scientific evidence of primates and compare bonobos, chimpanzees, gorillas and humans, there is a solid link between the size of testicles and frequency of sex per day. The analysis predicts that on average, humans would have sex at least once a day and that is a natural rate, chimps mate several times a day. Again, these rates are normal and early humans might have followed this trend until this notion of abstinence was imposed by religion. Osho and Freud, all they were proposing were what was in nature. And religion boycotted them. Pope is against contraceptives because it is against natural law of sex for reproduction and advocates abstinence. But how the hell is abstinence any more natural? What hypocrisy? The only reason the Pope is against the use of condoms is because of his reluctance to budge against his dogmatic beliefs. Please correct me. It’s not his. The unwillingness to change and upgrade and keep on using Pentium I even though Pentium IV has arrived in the market has been trademark of all religions; this deep conservatism seems to be the common ground of all religions. It is fine with me, if they don’t want to change, they will be left behind.